The ramblings, meanderings and stream of consciousness of a middleaged, short guy.

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Well, here I am again. It's been two weeks since last I wrote. A lot has happened in that time. Father's day, my dad's birthday, my and my wife's 14th anniversary, a trip to LA. (No, that's not lower alabama.)

I'm at a place of real transition. Not just job, but calling and vocation. I'm trying to figure out what I am to do with the next leg of the run, and I don't really have a clue. Most guys are settled in by the time they hit their late 30's, but not me. part of my struggle is the realization that for much of my career I have been desperately trying to be someone else. One of my heroes. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having heroes. There's nothing wrong with seeing qualities that you want to emulate. But, when you find yourself trying to be someone else, well, that's when you put on the brakes and ask yourself some tough questions.

Like: Do I really want to get to the end of my life then only to discover that I have lived someone else's life?

A friend told me a long time ago that the key to life is asking the right questions. For most of my days I have been stuck asking: How am I doing?

I think I want to ask a different question in the days ahead: Who am I becoming?

Yep, that's the question I need to ask for a while. Wish I would have asked it sooner.


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